Building Your Own Table When No One Gives You a Seat

Mahalene Dulay [00:00:00]:
But that's when I told myself, you know what? Screw waiting for a seat at the table. I'm going to build my own table, and I wanna welcome others who have been overlooked for way too long. I want others to be at the table where they know there is a seat for them, judgment free, shame free, and to know that there is a space for them.

Joanna Ehresman [00:00:30]:
Hi there. Thanks for joining us. I'm Joanna Ehresman. And I'm Leah Alter.

Leah Alter [00:00:35]:
And this is WomenShare, a celebration of women in financial services. We'd like to take Catchlight, our presenting sponsor of WomenShare. Catchlight helps firms save time and grow AUM by predicting which leads will most likely convert and suggest content and ways to engage them. Learn more at catchlight.ai/womenshare. That's catchlight.ai/womenshare.

Joanna Ehresman [00:00:59]:
Today, we are so excited and happy to welcome Mahalene Dulay to the podcast. Mahaleneis the founder and wealth advisor at Modern Wealth Collective, which is a financial planning and investment management firm with a mission to make, build and protect wealth for women of color. I love that. As a woman advisor of color, in a predominantly white male industry, Mahaleneknew firsthand how important it was to have representation in the industry. Instead of waiting for her seat at the money table, she built her own and welcomed other women of color, diverse communities, and allies. I was lucky enough to meet Mahalenemany years ago when she was striking out on her own and have appreciated her journey and her ability to be unapologetically herself, something we love here on the podcast. So we are just thrilled to have you, Mahaline. Welcome to WomenShare.

Mahalene Dulay [00:02:03]:
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here and have a fantastic conversation ahead.

Leah Alter [00:02:07]:
Oh, likewise. And I'm excited. I the mission of building a table instead of waiting for a seat, that really spoke to me. And so I would just love to hear the story there and how that mission has motivated you personally and how it applies and how you serve your clients.

Mahalene Dulay [00:02:23]:
My story actually begins before I was born. And the reason why I say that is because I'm a proud daughter of Filipino immigrant parents. Much like other immigrant stories, they left the Philippines to come to the US to pursue the American dream, buy a home, send my sister and me to college, and really just have a life that they could build where it wasn't available for them, in the Philippines. And what my parents did is that they worked really hard. They worked multiple jobs, and they actually took a risk to become business owners themselves. So for 25 plus years, they became business owners. They actually started what's called a boarding care. So it's an assisted living home for senior residents with early stages of Alzheimer's.

Joanna Ehresman [00:03:12]:
Mhmm.

Mahalene Dulay [00:03:12]:
And that, I would say, was the catalyst or even the foundation of the legs of the table, if you will. One of the reasons that I started Modern Wealth Collective is because of my parents. And I'll talk more about their story and their community and why a lot of the values that I have growing up are so important. When I graduated from college, I started with working with a larger financial planning company back in 2007. And for those of you that remember or heard about what happened during that time, that was when the real estate market was just not doing great at all. So you imagine you can imagine being a new adviser, having all these things happening to people at that time, and trying to, you know, trying to set appointments, trying to help them with their finances. And what's really interesting, now that I reflect about that reflect on that time, is that that's when technology was not as readily available as it is now. So Mhmm.

Mahalene Dulay [00:04:10]:
I'm gonna really date myself here. We used to we used to print out what's called MapQuest. So for those of you that don't know, it's like Google Maps, like old school Google Maps, where you would plug in the address, and it takes you to a destination. We would have to print those out for every single appointment that we have. We used to carry our paperwork bag with us instead of having DocuSign or esign available. We did old fashioned house calls. Part of the reason why I bring this up is because there were so many times when I said, you know what? This is this is hard. I don't even know if this is something that I want to continue to do.

Mahalene Dulay [00:04:46]:
I'm working 60 to 75 hour work weeks. Dating life is, like, nonexistent. I don't even get to see my family or my friends. Is this really worth it? So there are so many times where I had doubted myself, but then it always goes back to my parents, the sacrifices that they made, the time and commitment that they had for their why. And for me, knowing how much my parents had instilled in me hard work, it told me, hey. You know what? I can do hard things. And that's something that I've built for my own kids as well is that life is going to get hard, but you can do hard things. In 2018, I left the firm to start, or to go with, Kestra Financial, and that's where I started my own firm.

Mahalene Dulay [00:05:33]:
Now at that time, the firm was a different name. The first two years was kind of like a rebuilding stage. So 2018, 2019, it was a rebuilding stage, almost, if you will, like, rebuilding the foundation of everything that I knew, unlearning, relearning, and then, of course, 2020 happened. So everything that I learned, right, for for 10 plus year 10, 11 years, meeting clients face to face was now virtual. Everything that I learned from printing everything out was now electronic. So there's a really big learning curve, and while all this time, I had a toddler, I had a newborn, and my husband was going through a career transition. So there were a lot of things that were going on in my personal life that really created, oh, again, a lot more resilience in my story. When 2020 happened, I call this my 2020 vision.

Mahalene Dulay [00:06:26]:
When we're stuck at home, social media is in the forefront. We start talking about a lot of the events that occurred during that time. That's when, instantly, I knew, you know what? I know exactly what my mission is. I know exactly who I'm who I'm going to serve. And it took even though it took all this time, it really brought me to understanding that my experiences as a female adviser of color throughout my entire career translates to the community, the mission, everything that I wanted to build for historically underrepresented communities. So that's when Modern Wealth Collective was born. Totally rebranded everything. So when you talk about starting anew, totally rebranded everything.

Mahalene Dulay [00:07:08]:
But that's when I told myself, you know what? Screw waiting for a seat at the table. I'm going to build my own table, and I wanna welcome others who have been overlooked for way too long. I want others to be at the table where they know there is a seat for them, judgment free, shame free, and to know that there is a space for them. So when I talk about, again, building, you know, a seat at the table, those are some of the biggest inspirations for me, has been my parents, my experiences as a female adviser of color, and leaning more into my community. The more that I talk to people, the, more that I talk to people about representation in the money space, it becomes so apparent why it's so crucial, not only in your industry, to have other advisers that represent communities represent other communities, but to have the support, the mentorship, everything that ties into that. And so I think, I mean, yeah, that's that's been it's been an evolution. I'll say that.

Joanna Ehresman [00:08:11]:
Well and your passion around it is just so evident. That's I mean, those that are listening and not watching us, like, Joey and I just sat there and nodded our heads listening to your story because, your passion is so so clear. And what like I said at the top of the show, like, you are one of the most authentic people I've met in this industry. And what I've seen is, you know, you believe how important is to showcase that authenticity as a way to build a business. And, I know that is tied into your community work as well. So can you talk a little bit more about that and, how what that's meant to you and how that's helped you grow Modern Wealth Collective?

Mahalene Dulay [00:09:00]:
Absolutely. Community is an important value in the Filipino culture. And going back to, again, my story from the very beginning, that's where I knew it was something that was important to me personally. But in building my firm, having community as one of the foundations for what we do in our mission. Part of that community as well translates to advocacy. A lot of what I do with clients and then outside of clients with the community deals with advocacy work, not just from a monetary standpoint, but looking like, really diving into the systems that I've, as I mentioned, overlooked BIPOC communities for so long. And when we talk about community, that's something that I really lean on. For many years, I've taken lots of marketing classes, and, you know, they talk so much about, like, niche marketing and really figuring out who your avatar is.

Mahalene Dulay [00:09:59]:
And to be honest with you, over this last few years, I've taken that and reframed it to be more of what what is my who is my community? Who is it that I want to serve? And understanding that there are challenges and there are things that make that particular community unique. When I built Modern Wealth Collective, it was with the idea and with the intention that the message and the branding was to create, again, that community and that, and that table for for others. And showing that in my personal life, I think, has just really aligned with the networking. So everything is very integrated with one another when we talk about, COIs or centers of influence. You know, I don't I don't call them COIs. I call them my network of people. I call them as part of the collective. And I think that's important when we're building community is that we need to be intentional about who we work with and ensuring that it's in alignment with what we do.

Joanna Ehresman [00:11:01]:
That's really refreshing. It is, and

Leah Alter [00:11:03]:
I love that even the rephrasing of avatars and COIs, you know, to really, a, reflect your brand. But then what was coming to me is, like, it takes kind of the transactional nature of some of that out of it. Right? And it aligns with your passion and your value for having these relationships. Right? It's a it's a a give and take. Right? Like, not

Mahalene Dulay [00:11:28]:
just a take, take, take. Absolutely. Well and you talk about authenticity, and I think, unfortunately, a lot of advisers feel that they can't be authentic in this space. It's almost like I have to be professional every single time. But what has really built a lot of success in my community and my business is being authentic. It is absolutely a 100% possible to be authentic and professional at the same time. People are coming to you or coming to me as an adviser because there is a story behind their numbers. There's more than just the numbers on the statements.

Mahalene Dulay [00:12:04]:
They want to know that there is a human side of me that is empathetic and that completely understands the challenges that they are going through outside of, I want to retire someday. You know, we talk a lot about why is this important to you, what are the things that you grew up with culturally, you know, demographically, geographically, whatever the case is? But what are some of the things that really bring us to making certain decisions with our money? And I think that's something that, unfortunately, advisors tend to miss the mark on. I think that's fantastic about female financial advisors is that we have that empathetic characteristic about ourselves. And going back to the idea of community and support, it's going to be that much more important over the next several years as demographics in our industry and the demographics of money transfer and money movement is changing.

Leah Alter [00:12:55]:
Well, and I wanna touch on to how you bring that authenticity to life. So it's kind of emerging of authenticity and, like, you're talking about the new, more modern way of working. Right? So you use a lot of video and social media to to build awareness for for your practice, for yourself. So how how has that gone for you? And do you have any favorite, like, tips or tools that you use that you'd be willing to share with our listeners?

Mahalene Dulay [00:13:19]:
Social media has been a really incredible platform for us in building, building the business because it gives that accessibility for for our audience. And in understanding our community, where they live on social media, that's also really helped us to tailor the message to what it is that we're trying to showcase and trying to feature. Some of the tools that have been really helpful are Canva and our phone, literally. I think sometimes I think sometimes yeah. What I've noticed is that and conversations with other advisers too or even just entrepreneurs is that being in front being in the in front of the camera can be intimidating. But what I've learned is that you can create videos and create a presence without even having to show your face. So, for example, in Canva, what's really neat is that they have a tool where you can create, what's called carousel reels is what we call it in our in in our firm. But you can take something where you have, let's say, 2 or 3 different, slides and then create it into a video.

Mahalene Dulay [00:14:26]:
You can put your picture on there. You can put your logo on there. Obviously, the disclosure is for compliance reasons. But, but other than that, you can create videos and create more engagement that way without having to directly be in front of the camera. Now with that said too, something that I think is helpful for, as another tool, like I said, is just is really using your phone. I mean, just before this, I had asked if we could do a b roll. For those of you that don't know, it's literally just less than 30 seconds. You don't even have to talk.

Mahalene Dulay [00:14:58]:
You can just take a take a video of whatever is going on and create that into a series of different videos with captions that you can put on. I went to Washington for, summer break not that long ago, and the if you've ever been to Washington state, the scenery is beautiful. The rivers were gorgeous. The trees were so green. And what I did is I just had my phone, and I just took videos of the scenery. Once I had that, I sent it to my marketing strategist, and I said, hey. Can you put together a video and just add some educational content to it? And it was super easy. So I think when it comes to video, you you know, don't overthink it, and make sure that it's something that you can plan for.

Mahalene Dulay [00:15:43]:
We talk, something that we talk about with my team members is about consistency. So even using the the branding message and the way that we do our marketing is that consistent doesn't always mean you have to do it every day. Consistent doesn't even mean that you have to do 3 videos each week. But finding the consistency and the flow that works for your system.

Leah Alter [00:16:04]:
Yeah.

Mahalene Dulay [00:16:04]:
I think can really help enhance social media presence and brand awareness.

Joanna Ehresman [00:16:09]:
Yeah. That all in a or nothing approach to marketing is never a good approach. Right? Because it's it's easy to get inspired and come out hot and do something that is not, you know, sustainable. And then the consistency thing really drops off, and then it's, like, well, I'm failing, so I'm just gonna stop doing it altogether. You, like, kind of repeat that cycle. Yeah. And then you wonder why your marketing is not working. Where it's like, you know, if it's 1 or 2 videos a week or something like that, but it is something that is sustainable.

Joanna Ehresman [00:16:46]:
You can batch your content, do things like that, use tools like Canvas so you're not trying to, like, also learn how to be a graphic designer and all that, you know,

Mahalene Dulay [00:16:55]:
all that kind

Joanna Ehresman [00:16:56]:
of things. It it gives you a lot more opportunity to show up, like you said, where your audience is.

Mahalene Dulay [00:17:06]:
Yeah. And I think what's important too is show up as yourself. Now, again, that you can be professional and authentic at the same time. So, for example, I've tried videos where I'm, like, dancing and pointing, and I couldn't figure out where to point and Yeah. You know, have that have that work, and it just didn't feel comfortable. It didn't feel in alignment. I think, for those who are looking to build their brand and start with video on social media or video even for clients, I mean, that's even a perfect way to get started, which is being in front of the cameras. These are people that you already know who have seen your face, but, you know, it's it's part of who you are and it's part of your brand.

Mahalene Dulay [00:17:45]:
You're almost 1 and the same.

Leah Alter [00:17:46]:
Before we get to our next question, we've got a quick message for our listeners. If you like podcasts that help with your professional goals, we've got a recommendation for you. Our presenting sponsor, Catch Lite, hosts the Grow Organically podcast where Dan Gilmartin, head of marketing at Catch Lite, hosts candid discussions with wealth management and financial professionals.

Joanna Ehresman [00:18:07]:
Each episode breaks down growth factors at wealth management firms and how organizations can continue to be forward thinkers in today's very competitive landscape. Add grow organically to your podcast rotation, and you can learn more at catchlight.ai/womenshare. That's catchlight.ai/womenshare. Okay. Mahaline, back to you. A theme that we've been hearing from a lot of our guests who have been coming on the show are about creating an, like a it's more than just like work life balance, but, like, really alignment between your professional and your personal life. So as a business owner and a mom, where are you finding success and, you know, challenges also in in doing both and balancing both?

Mahalene Dulay [00:19:03]:
1st, I would say is that I came to the realization that a balance between being a business mom and a that business owner and a mom really does not exist. There's going to be sacrifice in one one area or another, And I think where the biggest lesson that I've learned over the years, especially as my family has grown, is that there are different seasons where priorities are going to be different, and that is okay. My first son was unplanned. You know, to be very honest with you, it was at the peak of my career. He was unplanned, and it threw me for a loop. I thought at that time that I could be superwoman and still be on the same trajectory with my business, still meet with clients in person, and do all of the things while trying to raise a human being. And quickly enough, I realized that that is not possible. With all these different seasons of my life and my business, I think the other thing goes back to the idea of community.

Mahalene Dulay [00:20:02]:
My community has been such a support in what I do to be successful both in business and in life. My family, my friends, my colleagues, leaning into others, and really just being okay with asking for help, and, also, for me, being okay that I don't have to do all the things. I'm a multipassionate person by nature, and sometimes it's really hard when I want something done yesterday. But it's not it's it's not going to be realistic. Another area that I've or another, thought that I've had or another lesson, if you will, that I've learned more so is just understanding what what is important to me. And the idea of time is so much more valuable than than money. Money does buy happiness in the sense that I feel it provides opportunity. It provides, you know, funding for the goals that we want to accomplish, but time time is not something we'll be able to get back.

Mahalene Dulay [00:21:08]:
And as my kids get older, I realized too that they are in their own individual stages of life where they're going to need me in different capacities. So I have to think, as a business owner, what in that season that I'm in, how do I prioritize? So then that way, if time with my kids and time with my family is important, what do I do on the business side so I can focus energy on moving the needle and and growth and being able to delegate other areas and, again, leaning into my community of my support system within the firm to help me be successful and to help me continue to grow.

Leah Alter [00:21:47]:
What was coming to mind is a old coaching tool that, a friend of mine, actually, Holly O'Hanlon, who was a guest on the podcast before she's an executive coach, walked through of of really being intentional and thinking about, like, where are you on these different kind of categories in your life. Right? If you're leaning a little bit more toward, okay, this is a really heavy business time, like and and just being aware of it. And like you said, almost like getting yourself okay with it or giving yourself permission to be like, I'm okay. Right now, I am a, you know, a 7 on business. And so if I'm gonna be a 5 as a parent or as a friend or whatever, I'm giving I'm writing myself that permission slip so that I don't feel like, oh, I need to be an 8 in every area, and I'm just burning out. So I love that. Like, the going with the seasons of your life and your business.

Mahalene Dulay [00:22:42]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And and I think too, you talked about grace. I think that's something that everybody doesn't give give enough credit for us as individuals is to, you know, give yourself grace. I mean, to be honest with you, I have a really hard time stepping away from the business. I actually posted this on LinkedIn and had people reach out saying how much it resonated, but it was with the idea that because the business is something that I created, I put my own blood, sweat, and tears into it. It is it is my other baby outside of my humans and my dog. You know? It's it's, it it's hard to not be in the business.

Mahalene Dulay [00:23:20]:
And so a lot of a lot of my lessons, in finding the work life integration, if you will, is Word. Is being able to, again, understand the seasons, but, but also really go back to what is my why. You know? Why why am I doing this? If I talk to clients about their why and why they're why they're saving and investing towards their specific financial goals. I mean, I need to practice what I preach, and so I think it's incredibly important to give ourselves grace and understand that, you know, it's, if not if not now, there's going to be a season where maybe there is time that can be dedicated to a certain project or a certain task down the road.

Leah Alter [00:24:07]:
I'd be curious to hear from you. What is the best career advice you've received?

Mahalene Dulay [00:24:12]:
Oh, absolutely. I would say one is the what they what is coined as the 4 d's or however which way you want to coin it, but it's, do, delegate, delete, and defer. So do the things that move the needle, that find joy, that are in alignment with what I do both in business and personal life. Delegate, so not just in business, but also personally. I mean, if, if somebody can come and do housekeeping services or do child care even if it's for a few hours or do a date night so that way you can be with your partner and reconnect that way. You know, delegating some of the tasks to other people, I think, is is incredibly important to success. Delete. So I think, for delete, it used for me, when I first heard about this, it was about tasks.

Mahalene Dulay [00:25:04]:
You know? Like, what are the things or what are the tasks that I'm doing that I really shouldn't be doing as the CEO or as a business owner, as the founder, of my firm? But then it evolved to also, unfortunately, deleting the people and toxic relationships in my life that didn't that I didn't have alignment with anymore.

Joanna Ehresman [00:25:24]:
Oh, yeah.

Mahalene Dulay [00:25:25]:
And for, you know, for those that are listening, it's, I think that's probably one of the hardest is Of course. Thinking about, you know, where are you at in your life. And for those people around you, are they, you know, are they supporting you, or are they bringing you down? Are they somebody who's like, yes. I want to help you succeed, so I'm gonna give you all the strategies and tools that I'm using to be successful, or are they hoarding it for themselves because they're fearful of, you know, taking their ideas or whatever the case is? So I think in terms of the delete, not only again your task as a business owner, but looking at your the the people in your life. And then lastly is defer. So going back to, like, what I talked about last time is that you don't have to do all the things right now. It didn't have to be done yesterday. If it's if it's a if it's something that can be if it's something that's a no right now, think of it more as a not yet.

Mahalene Dulay [00:26:23]:
You know? It's it's not yet in this season. It's something that can be tabled for right now because there are other things that are that that take priority, but but come back to it. So it's not a completely, you know, completely off the table, just table and tell.

Joanna Ehresman [00:26:39]:
Not now.

Mahalene Dulay [00:26:39]:
Not now.

Joanna Ehresman [00:26:40]:
I love the four d's. This is good. I think that you you can apply that to, like, so many different areas of your life for sure. Yeah. So what can we celebrate with you today outside of the office, outside of your amazing firm? What personally can we help you celebrate today? We love that.

Mahalene Dulay [00:27:00]:
Oh my gosh. I would say, first and foremost, is just the fact that I have another day to live. And I know that sounds, like, very big and, like, very, not very specific, I guess, in some ways, but, you know, considering how much how much is going on around in the world, I I talked about how I'm a multipassionate person. And so when I, sometimes, when I integrate personal with business and vice versa in the advocacy and in the community work, I feel a lot of what is going on. And to know that, I am incredibly grateful. I practice gratitude every single

Joanna Ehresman [00:27:36]:
day when I wake up and before I go to bed, but just to

Mahalene Dulay [00:27:36]:
know that I have, single day when I wake up and before I go to bed. But just to know that I have, you know, another day to make an impact for myself, to make an impact for my family and to my community and those around me, that's, I mean, that's something to celebrate every day. And, I would say for, you know, for the audience that's listening, don't be afraid to celebrate your small and big wins. It doesn't always have to be a big win.

Joanna Ehresman [00:28:02]:
Yeah.

Mahalene Dulay [00:28:03]:
It doesn't always have to be the biggest paycheck or the biggest clients. But, you know, if it's, hey. I got up, and I, you know, I did a workout or I did 20 steps today from here to there. I mean, you know, celebrate all the wins because that's what's going to keep the momentum going is if we look at what you have accomplished and what you've done to get there, it makes all the more reason why your mission and your why is so incredibly important in what you do.

Joanna Ehresman [00:28:33]:
Well, this has just been so great. I can't believe our time is, wrapping up. Mahaline, it has been such an incredible conversation. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for sharing your passion. I think it's gonna inspire a lot of people to get, much more laser focused on what's most important to them, and I think that is only good for our collective community, in this industry.

Mahalene Dulay [00:29:01]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And I appreciate both of you creating this platform to, again, continue to elevate and support women in in the industry and entrepreneurs and business owners because we're so much better together when we can support one another instead of tear each other down. And in this day and age, we we need it.

Joanna Ehresman [00:29:21]:
Yeah. Well well, and I

Leah Alter [00:29:23]:
think you're you are such a great example, like so many of our other guests of advisers who are doing things differently than the way it's been done. And it's so energizing to see this out there, this model of how you can run your business and run your life. So thank you.

Joanna Ehresman [00:29:39]:
Well, once again, we wanna give a shout out to Catchlight for backing our mission here at WomenShare. Catchlight's platform can build data rich profiles and score your leads to help you increase efficiency and improve conversion. Check them out at catchlight.ai/womenshare. That's catchlight.ai/womenshare.

Leah Alter [00:30:05]:
That's our show for today. If ours is

Joanna Ehresman [00:30:07]:
a mission that you want to share in, subscribe to WomenShare on your favorite podcast platform. With that, I'm Joanna Erisman. And I'm Leah Alter, and we'll catch you on the next episode of WomenShare.