Building Emotional Connections: Julie D'Anastasio on Community and Retention Strategies

Julie D'Anastasio [00:00:00]:
My take is that if you can add your product and service along with that core emotion that you're selling, which would be safety and security, and then add the human element of feeling of community or belonging or loved, that is what really retains people.

Joanna Ehresman [00:00:28]:
Hi there. Thanks for joining us. I'm Joanna Ehresman. And I'm Leah Alter. And this is WomenShare, a celebration of women in financial services.

Leah Alter [00:00:38]:
Today, we are joined by Julie D'Anastasio. Julie is an expert at turning moments into memories, an event executive who prides herself on creating exceptional experiences that invoke an emotional response in attendees which binds them to a company and creates loyalty. Julie has over 20 years of experience in events and retention, 17 of which have been in financial services. Julie intuitively knows how to connect with others and help businesses understand the importance of connectedness in a world driven by technology. Her passion and heart drive her why, which is to make others feel seen, heard, and loved, and she skillfully guides her clients to do the same. Julie is a former colleague and a dear friend of mine, and I have seen and experienced her work up close and personal, and it really is something special. I'm just so excited for her to be here on WomenShare and share this unique perspective about events, but more importantly, about retention strategies. So welcome to WomenShare, Julie.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:01:51]:
Thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here.

Joanna Ehresman [00:01:53]:
Yeah. Julie, we're so excited to hear from you because we, Leah, we haven't really covered this topic in I know. In terms of retention and events. And so, I just I'm excited for you to share your perspective with our listeners. One thing that caught our eye is that you you state, in a world where we're so overconnected in technology and underconnected in real life that it can really be a difference maker in your business if you're able to foster a sense of community and connection. So would just love to get into that and have you share a little bit more about that point of view and some examples of how you've seen this play out in your career.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:02:29]:
Yeah. Absolutely. I feel so passionately about that, topic. And, you know, obviously, with a 20 year career in events, it's, you know, a huge a huge part of my life and something that I have seen make a difference in companies. And so going back to that conversation around having that disconnection. So there's this idea of pebbling. I don't know if you have heard of it but it's kind of big on social media right now. I was gonna

Joanna Ehresman [00:02:57]:
say I think it's seen some memes right penguins? Yeah. That like

Julie D'Anastasio [00:03:01]:
Yeah. It's exactly that. It stemmed from you know penguins give pebbles so a male penguin will give a female pebble when he's court anchor. So he'll leave you know pebbles. And so a lot of people have translated that idea to sending each other memes, you know, across, you know, whether it's Facebook or Instagram or it's Quick Text. And that sounds really great in theory, and it is cute, and I do that myself. I send people memes all the time. But when I say we're disconnected, that can't be the only thing that keeps us connected.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:03:35]:
And a lot of times friendships end up falling into that, or other relationships fall into that. The thing that people are missing is that the penguin keeps going back with pebbles to build a whole nest. And so you know it's really more about consistent action and consistent touch points with that person that you're trying to build a relationship with that can't stand alone on a meme or a text here and there. And so for me, I really believe that in order to create community, in order to create a sense of belonging, in order to create that retention and that effort, it takes intentionality, and it happens through intentional connection. So, you know, for me, I see that happening with events. I see that happening with retention efforts. And, you know, I with events, you know, so many times we would send out surveys, you know, post event. And everybody, their favorite thing, peer to peer connection, peer to peer connection.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:04:31]:
And that's really what events are about. You know, people love to go somewhere where there's like minded people and they feel a part of the community. And so, you know, a lot of times people say, well, we have a 1000 person conference or 5000 person conference. It's just it's it's too big to create anything. Well, I disagree because I feel like you can do things and you can make intentional efforts in those larger events to create smaller spaces. You know, you can have networking lounges set up. You can create groups, personal or professional groups that people can connect in before, during, or after the conference, even during the days of the conference. I also really believe that with name badges, you know, so many times at events, we put, you know, first and last name, their company, and their title, and their city and state.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:05:25]:
But what we tend to forget is that business relationships are still relationships, and in no other way do we act transactionally in our relationships to maintain them. And so, you know, you go to an event and you see somebody's title and you see their company, and that's supposed to spur conversation. I mean, why not? You take an opportunity to use the lanyard to maybe designate like, let's say you wanna designate at, you know, a burger deal with conference. Okay. Fine. You use a colored lanyard to, you know, indicate whether you're home office or adviser or sponsor, whatever. But on the badge, why don't you leave off the title? Why don't you try leaving off the company name? And you have them leave 3 different, you know, icebreakers during registration that people can talk to them about or 3 different passions. So then when you're going up to somebody, you're not automatically reducing them down to a business connection.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:06:18]:
You're talking to them as a human connection. Oh, I see that you love caps or donuts or whatever it

Joanna Ehresman [00:06:25]:
is that. You did.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:06:26]:
Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Exactly. Yeah. Let's talk about that. And of course, naturally, a conversation will develop of what do you do and, you know, who are you here with and all that. But really, I just truly believe that when you bring the idea of, you know, relationships into, you know, the business world and when you bring emotions back into the business world, that's really where you get the real connection.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:06:51]:
That's really where you feel, that you're making a difference and that people, you know, want to stay with you.

Joanna Ehresman [00:06:58]:
That's so I mean, it seems not obvious when you say it, but, like, that it's a missing link, and, like, that seems like a really simple element to factor into your event planning. And I wonder too if there's, you know, to be an adviser, a CFP, a planner, like, it's such an intellectual, you know, approach that I think a lot of our events are focused on education and and that sort of thing, but always factoring in how are we building connection into the DNA of this event is going to just make it all the more valuable for the attendees. So I think those are great examples of ways you can do that relatively simply it seems like.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:07:43]:
Yeah. And I think, you know, going back to that is that you're already there for the same reason, you know, and I've heard a lot of times, you know, advisors want to connect with other advisors. They maybe don't want to connect with staff, or staff wants to connect with staff. And that's fine. That's where the lanyard color comes in or the badge color comes in. And you'll naturally end up finding each other in different sessions. But I think, you know, if we look back to, you know, when jobs first became available, I mean, we could go back years years years, but really people used to do jobs because those were the jobs that were available. They go to the factory and they work in the factory.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:08:17]:
They leave the factory and they go home. Okay. And so business and personal lives are totally separate. We are not separate from that anymore. We now have the choice to choose our comfort path. We now have a passion, generally speaking, for what we're doing. And so when you automatically add that passion in, you're adding in emotion. And so there's no more separating out this emotionless, you know, world.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:08:41]:
And so, yes, you're going to the business event to potentially learn content, but you're also going to connect with people. And, I also think that there's, you know, people want to play. They want to have a sense of, you know, downtime. They look forward to maybe getting away from their families a little bit, learning, of course, but you know having a sense of play or wonder at your events is also a really great way to you know build that retention and that community. And I saw firsthand that Leo was at an event that I did years ago where I created a carnival. I created a carnival theme. And, you know, my executives were so they they were so nervous about this. And I was just like, just let me do it.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:09:28]:
I know I know it's gonna bring up a feeling of nostalgia. I know it's gonna bring a sense of play. And watching people walk in and see a ferris wheel and see carnival games and corn dogs. I think Leah was just permanently on the ferris wheel.

Leah Alter [00:09:42]:
I literally was just taking all of my favorite advisors up on the Ferris

Julie D'Anastasio [00:09:46]:
wheel with

Leah Alter [00:09:47]:
me so that I could just be on there nonstop because I love them so much. It was so much fun. I mean, years after that event, advisors were still talking about how much fun that carnival was. And to your point, the nostalgia, the play, like, there were all the games that you love to play as a kid, all the prizes that you could win when you were a kid, all of that. And to get to, do it with, like, your colleagues that you really like with a cocktail in your hand, like, it was so much fun.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:10:23]:
Thank you. Yes. So I think, you know, so often people go to events and they think that it's all about drinking or they tend to default to drinking because they're, you know, with their friends and that's that's the only release that they have. You know? And so when you intentionally create an opportunity for them to play or to find relaxation or to connect with people on like minded topics, I think the drinking and not that there's anything wrong with drinking, but there's a lot of people that are super curious now or moving towards less drinking. And so I think that there's an opportunity for for people who are hosting events as well as planning events to, you know, get creative around what they're offering people at events versus just having them attend, because it's, you know, a learning opportunity or because they have to.

Leah Alter [00:11:10]:
I'm so glad you got that. By the way, I did get a t shirt made. This will make people giggle. I got a t shirt in the mail that that had a Ferris wheel on it and it said Ferris wheel hussy because I got called out for taking so many people on the Ferris wheel. I will I'll own it. I own it, like, proudly. It was so much fun. So, Julie, as you know, a lot of financial advisors listen to the podcast, and I'm guessing they have perked up with some of the ideas that you've shared and your unique rep approach.

Leah Alter [00:11:46]:
So for those who have kind of always done events the same way or, you know, gifts the same way as, like, a retention effort. How would you suggest they start to incorporate some of these, ideas into their own events or own retention strategy?

Julie D'Anastasio [00:12:06]:
Yes. I think it's really important going back to the, you know, emotions in business. I think successful companies sell emotions. They don't sell a product. I mean, if you think about Disney, they're not selling an amusement park. They're selling memories. If you think about Amazon, yes they're selling products, but they're selling convenience. Financial services is generally selling safety and security as well as a product and a service.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:12:28]:
But that emotion is what really people are buying. It's not your product and service because there's other products and services available. It's that they're buying that emotion. So my take is that if you can add your product and service along with that core emotion that you're selling, which would be safety and security, and then add the human element of feeling of community or belonging or loved, that is what really retains people. Because, you know, otherwise Joe Schmo down the street is going to open up his business and you can lose a client to that. But when that client is bound to you because of the way you've made them feel over the years, that's where retention really comes in. And so I think for a lot of times people think, oh well I'm not hosting big events or I don't like hosting big events. It doesn't matter.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:13:18]:
You can host small dinners. You can, you know, create a retention and loyalty program that has, you know, nothing to do with large events. Or you can host, you know, a large client dinner or a, you know, lunch and learn type of event. I think that the idea is that people are open to exploring different opportunities because at the end of the day everybody just wants to feel seen, loved, heard, our sense of belonging and community. And I think a lot of times, again, business, we try and tend to leave that out, but the reality is is that if you can create that with people, that's where you're going to retain and do your biggest retention. And also, I will stand on my soapbox all day about this, but the, next generation, that is the way that you will gain, attract, and retain the next generation. Because, you know, I just posted the other day on LinkedIn that, you know, 79% of Gen Z and 71% of millennials feel lonely and that is due to technology and the long term effects of COVID and missing out on things and places and people and connection, school. And so that those new generations, they are looking for some sort of emotion.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:14:31]:
They can spot fake people. They can spot that, you know, kind of walled up emotional stuff, and they don't want anything to do with it. They are about sustainability. They are about charity. They're about authenticity. They're about community and feeling something. So if you wanna attract that, you have got to add in, you know, those retention efforts and and community.

Leah Alter [00:14:54]:
You know, that just reminded me to a previous guest, that we've had on the show, Kathy Fish and Carrie Jackson. They do something in their local community called cocktails for a cause, and they throw, like, a very intimate little, like, happy hour cocktail. And it's they pick a different charity for each event in their local community, and they raise a ton of money. And it's just an opportunity for people to connect. It's just to create community. There's no sales pitch. There's no nothing. They invite clients and things like that, but there's like that's not what it's about.

Leah Alter [00:15:32]:
It's really just about making, you know, awareness and and raising money for these different organizations. And it's been so hugely successful for them.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:15:42]:
I love that because really I mean, it shouldn't be about driving sales or getting referrals or, you know, when we're always searching for an outcome or doing something only because of the outcome, it generally doesn't, you know, give us the outcome that we're looking for. But when you're doing it because you want to create community or because you want to give back or because you just want to feel good or make somebody else feel good, then that's where the heart comes in and that's truly really what ends up getting referrals that come out of nowhere or ends up pertaining to people or you know, it's not it's not about that driven outcome of I have to invite this many people in order to get this many leads. I mean, ROI and lead generation, all of that is, you know, obviously data is useful. And it can't just all be heart driven.

Leah Alter [00:16:28]:
But That's Joanna's love language.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:16:31]:
Yeah. Yes. We we

Joanna Ehresman [00:16:34]:
have variously

Julie D'Anastasio [00:16:34]:
Joanna's data.

Leah Alter [00:16:37]:
That's us in a nutshell.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:16:41]:
But but I mean, some of the ideas that we were talking you know, you had asked me kind of ideas too, and some of the stuff that I had mentioned before. But I mean, even just simple ideas. We have national holidays now for everything. You know? National Red Wine tray day, national dog day. People love posting with that stuff. Because again people love to feel a part of something. So you know one of the things that I did a lot at my old firm was theme nights and I got a lot of pushback on that. People were like, oh well mainly the executives.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:17:10]:
You know, I don't know. I don't do people want to buy clothes? Theme nights immediately make people feel included. Okay? You show up and you are dressed up in the same outfits or the same similar type of outfit or same color. It doesn't have to be complicated. It can be a black and white night theme or a, you know, I don't know, just something easy, a red, white, and blue theme or patriotic. But that helps people feel immediately included, and it's a good icebreaker of, oh, I love your outfit. Where'd you get that? And you can go as dramatic as you want. But, you know, with the national holidays, you can send National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:17:46]:
How amazing would it be if, you know, your top 20 clients got cookies delivered to them on National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day or

Leah Alter [00:17:54]:
Julie herself would really love that.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:17:57]:
I would love that. Cookie love? That's my love language. It is. It is. But also too, you know, like sending you know, we obviously know so much of the wealth transfer is going to women. Yeah. You know, what about on Valentine's Day? Send in flowers to some of your women's clients. Obviously, you make it about business, I mean, on the card, but the reality is don't assume that somebody else is giving them flowers.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:18:21]:
Even if they are married or even if they, you know, aren't or some of those widows, you know, haven't gotten flowers in years. And Mhmm. It's such a nice touch point. And those are the things that take a moment and turn it into a memory.

Joanna Ehresman [00:18:34]:
Well and I think it shows, thoughtfulness. Not that there's anything wrong with, you know, I don't know, sending things on the expected times, you know, birth birth of a child, wedding, that sort of thing. But, one one adviser team that we worked with at my former firm, they would always do thanksgiving pies because it came up in a client conversation of this client was like, oh, I'm hosting, and it's always so busy, and I never get around. I would love to make a pie, but it's always the last thing. And so, right, like, thinking, how can I enable my clients to have this really great family experience and make it easy for them? Right? And it was just a nice touch point, which I know is common in the industry in general, but thinking about what are those moments, like you said, the Valentine's flowers or whatever it might be, where it's just really stepping into your clients' shoes and what would be meaningful to them.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:19:26]:
Yes. Exactly. I love that.

Joanna Ehresman [00:19:28]:
Oh, k. So I wanna zoom out a little bit more macro now. So you've been in the industry for, for several years and have worked at several different companies. Curious to hear your thoughts on what you've seen in terms of industry evolution and specifically as it pertains to women, and where do you see more opportunities for women in the financial services industry?

Julie D'Anastasio [00:19:53]:
Yeah. I think that's such a great question. And, you know, I have been I can't even believe that it's been 17 years that I've been in this industry. I feel like I've kind of fell into it, and then I've created a niche since then. And it's been so amazing to see more women, especially more women leaders, and just, you know, more women advisers and, you know, more women in general in the offices. I think, you know, it's funny because I've always kind of resided in a marketing capacity or events tend to be more women. So I wasn't as fully aware of it until, you know, until I then I saw it. You know? And you're like, oh gosh.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:20:30]:
Okay. This is not something that every team has. And, and I love seeing that. But what I do think is still missing a bit from the industry as a whole is, you know, the desire and the actual understanding of what women bring to a company and to leadership roles. I think, yes, there's more women, but what I see a lot of times that makes me feel really sad is that a lot of these women are still trying to fit into an old structure that was designed, you know, for them. And they're not being themselves. They're still playing small or they still think they over they have to overwork or overprove. And, you know, a lot of the women leaders that I've come across, sadly, still feel like they don't fit in fully, and they still feel like they have to exert, in a way that isn't maybe natural to them or is or has become natural natural to them, even though it's not who they wanna be.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:21:29]:
And Right. That does make me feel really sad. And I think there's so much opportunity for women to really embrace what they bring to the table. I mean, we multitask so well. We have better crisis management skills. We are risk aware and leads to more thoughtful decisions. You know, our relationship and communication building tends to be better than men. And I love men.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:21:54]:
I love women. I am not you know, both of us have unique skills that we can bring to the table, but that's where I feel like the opportunity is, is to really see women for what they can bring and desire that versus trying to make them fit into this, you know, old mold that, you know, really is is going by the wayside.

Leah Alter [00:22:15]:
I love that. I mean, we've had so many guests come on and talk about early in their career trying to dress a certain way or wear their makeup a certain way or, and it just feeling so inauthentic and discouraging. So I think you're right. I think there is an enormous opportunity there to just allow people to bring what, is naturally strengths for them to the table, you know, whatever that might be. And, I think that's just such a a great point. So, Julie, we ask every guest who comes on the show, what is the best career advice that you have ever received?

Julie D'Anastasio [00:23:02]:
Well, it goes back to that, and this is career and life honestly. I have been told and I just love this term is to be willing to be an inconvenient woman. And so I know. I know. I know. It sounds like that snaps. Yeah. And it's so funny.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:23:23]:
I was talking to one of my former executives and friends, and, he was like, an inconvenient woman? Does that does that sound so negative? And I was like, you know, yeah, it does. But the reality is that convenient women will settle. They will take what's given to them. They will people please and they will play small and they will, you know, dim themselves down. And an inconvenient woman knows her work and she knows her value and she will stand up for herself, she'll stand up for others even if it's uncomfortable. And so and that goes across, like I said, dating, marriage, relationships, friendships, business. And I think the beauty of it is is that you're only inconveniencing the people that are afraid of you knowing your worth. You're only inconveniencing the people that want to control you.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:24:10]:
And so much of that, even like I said, I mean, I can go on a whole rant about this, but I mean, the beauty industry or the, you know, weight loss industry, so many times women are told that they're not good enough. I mean, people are told that they're not good enough in any capacity. And to be a woman and listen, I have makeup on, I have hair stuff. I love doing all that. That's something that brings me joy, but there's a lot of people that don't. And, you know, and that's okay. And then all we have to do is be able to say that's not for me and to be authentic with that. And then whoever is not along the bride, you know, along for that bride will leave your life.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:24:48]:
But it feels scary. It feels scary to say I'm an inconvenient woman or I don't want to convenience you. I want to do what I want to do and I feel strong in that. But when you can do that, when you feel aligned with your actions and and decisions, like, that's when life is just it's beautiful.

Joanna Ehresman [00:25:08]:
And powerful. Right? Like, the like, really owning your power authentically. Not in a put others down, but just, like, unapologetically being who you are.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:25:18]:
Yes. Yeah. I know. But it feels scary because, I mean, I'm 43, and it took me years to get to that point where I said, you know what? I'm not going to live for other people. I'm not going to Yeah. Continue to make myself feel, uncomfortable because I want somebody else to feel comfortable.

Joanna Ehresman [00:25:36]:
Yes. And it's yeah. That I'm in a similar spot where I'm like, it's just in the past few years where I'm like, wait a minute. Like, I think it's just, like, wisdom of age or getting tired of putting up with it. I don't know what it is.

Leah Alter [00:25:49]:
Not that women in

Joanna Ehresman [00:25:50]:
their thirties and other, you know, ages aren't also aware of those things, but I think you just I don't know. You get tired of dealing with it.

Leah Alter [00:25:59]:
Yes.

Joanna Ehresman [00:26:00]:
Enough is enough. Okay. So, Julie, if someone wants to learn more about you and work with you or even just connect back to the point of building community, we're big fans of that here on WomenShare, what's the best way for someone to find you?

Julie D'Anastasio [00:26:13]:
Yeah. So I mean LinkedIn is definitely gonna be the best way to find so much of, you know, my content and and posting and obviously my background. And I know that you guys will have it linked in the show notes. Yes. Also, I think you'll link my, you know, my email address. I mean, I'm excited to right now I'm looking for, you know, my next full term full time long term position. But I'm also getting a lot of, you know, questions and, clients for consulting and contracting opportunities. So I mean, whether I go full time long term, I don't know.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:26:50]:
I mean, I say full time. I mean more of a corporate job. Whether I choose to do that or whether I continue to help clients consult and and contract. And, you know, I'm helping everybody from, you know, business owners in the financial services industry, advisors. I'm helping wholesalers, anybody, CPAs, lawyers, anybody that just needs help with it doesn't have to be big events. I think sometimes people think I have to be doing these large events or I have to be, you know, really have this big broad, you know, event calendar. It's not just that. It's, like I said, retention efforts.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:27:25]:
I can help you come up with a retention calendar, for the year, touch points, different loyalty programs, ways that you can connect with your clients. It's not, it's not just all about events, although that has been my background, But any ways in which we can help build community together, I am happy to explore.

Leah Alter [00:27:46]:
Love that. Yes. I know. I know people are gonna be connecting because this is just something different. It's different than the status quo. And that's what I think the industry needs in general. So it's so exciting to see you do this work, on your own and what lies ahead.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:28:06]:
Thank you. I appreciate that.

Leah Alter [00:28:08]:
So outside of work and career, what can we celebrate with you today?

Julie D'Anastasio [00:28:13]:
Yeah. You know, this year, I cannot believe we're already where we're at in the year. But I started this year, both my father and I were diagnosed with some health stuff. And, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I am proud to say he has made through all of his treatments. And right now we're waiting on some test results, to make sure that it's gone. And, you know, he's in the clear, but I feel so proud of him, and I wanna celebrate that. But both of us through that time, you know, just being very authentic here, we didn't have a great relationship. And it was at Christmas last year that I finally just broke down and just went on a tirade on him and finally, like, verbalized all those emotions.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:28:59]:
And then, you know, a couple weeks later, it was when he got his diagnosis. But that process has helped both him and I, heal our relationship together. So I feel very proud of the work that I've been able to do on that side, and I'm super proud of him. So I wanna celebrate for him and for me. And then also my health issues have been greatly improved. So nothing to do with business here even though there's been a lot of moves in that for a year for me too, but I'm definitely celebrating, you know, just health and happiness for for my family and myself right now.

Leah Alter [00:29:33]:
That's amazing. We are definitely celebrate with you. Yeah. We are celebrating you both for sure.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:29:40]:
Thank you.

Leah Alter [00:29:41]:
Awesome. Awesome. I love that.

Joanna Ehresman [00:29:44]:
I know. I know. And thank you for sharing. Like that's back to the theme. I was I almost, when you mentioned authenticity earlier in the episode, I'm like, we should have a counter of how many times authenticity comes up because it's so real and true. And thank you for sharing your whole self on the show. Thank you for joining us today. This was a really incredible conversation, and I think you shared just such an interesting perspective of how you can step outside the norm or lather, rinse, repeat of your attention strategies and bring this new lens to it.

Joanna Ehresman [00:30:14]:
So really appreciate you being here, Julie.

Julie D'Anastasio [00:30:17]:
Thank you. I'm so happy to have been here.

Joanna Ehresman [00:30:19]:
Alright. Well, that is our show for today. If ours is a mission that you wanna share in, subscribe to WomenShare on your favorite podcast platform. With that, I'm Joanna Ehresman. And I'm Leah Alter,

Leah Alter [00:30:31]:
and we will catch you on the next episode of WomenShare.